The weakest link yugioh style
by Smurf4
Summary: an insane mixture of jokes and the yu-gi-oh crew as 10 of yu-gi-ohs finest enter in the weakest link, prepare to laugh yourself stupid!!! r+r plz
1. Default Chapter

Yu-gi-oh the weakest link.  
  
This is my first comedy fic so let me know what you think of it!!  
  
Smurf: Welcome to the weakest link, I am your host smurf [smiles and waves at camera]  
  
Kaiba: [whispers to yugi] whos he talking to?  
  
Joey: anyway smurf wheres that bag of money you promised us for coming here?  
  
Smurf: bag of money? Tee hee, opps sorry the shows starting  
  
Tristan: Hey get your *beep* ass down the *beep* stairs and get my mother *beep* money you son of a *beep*  
  
Smurf: Thank god for beeping, anyway its time to play the weakest link  
  
Tea: I am not playing anything, I just want my bag of money!!!  
  
Smurf: yeah well listen, about that  
  
Preston[hes an original character from my other fan-fic] Get the money now!!!  
  
Smurf: after the show guys, I promise you'll get it, so anyway our ten contestants are here for the weakest link  
  
Joey: don't believe a thing he says!!! Hes lieing I tells ya  
  
Smurf: THERE ARE 10 PEOPLE HERE, SEE COUNT THEM  
  
Joey, ehhh one, three, nine.. Erm I'll take your word for it  
  
Mai: sigh really joey, can you not go 10 seconds without humiliating yourself.  
  
Joey: can you not go 10 seconds without revealing yourself!!!  
  
Smurf: alright already calm down!! looks at mai although I thought there was a dress code to get in here?  
  
Joey: more like a bed code in mai's sake  
  
Mai: JUST WHAT ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF?  
  
Joey: sleeping with security gaurds.  
  
Smurf: [ignores them] well anyway we have our 10 contestants yugi, joey, tristan, kaiba, tea, mai, preston, bakura, bandit keith and pegasus. The first question will go to bakura  
  
Bakura: is this when I get my bag of money  
  
Smurf: THERE IS NO MONEY UNLESS YOU WIN, I LIED  
  
Bakura: lies make baby jesus cry.  
  
Smurf: shut the beep up  
  
Show producer: hey hey hey!!! Less of that or I'll dock your wages  
  
Smurf: sorry sir  
  
Show producer: there will be no shiny penny for you if it happens again  
  
Smurf: It wont sir [tear runs down cheek] Anyway bakura your first question is.. How many millenium items are there  
  
Bakura: I have one  
  
Smurf: that's great but how many is there altogether  
  
Bakura: one?  
  
Smurf: ermmmm no *link 0 now tea.  
  
Tea: quit picking on me!!!  
  
Smurf: [groans]  
  
Joey: hey man go easy on her  
  
Smurf: I didn't do anything  
  
Tea: [sobs] why is it always me  
  
Smurf: sweatdrop runs down cheek tea what is the name of the town you live in  
  
Tea: Baghdad?  
  
Smurf: ....  
  
Tea: Paris?  
  
Smurf:...  
  
Tea: pallet town?  
  
Smurf: unbeleivable, you don't even know where you live *link 0 kaiba.  
  
Kiaba: yeah?  
  
Smurf: what is the name of the strongest duel monsters card?  
  
Kaiba: if you don't let me get it right my company will break your legs  
  
Legless man in audience: He aint kidding!!!  
  
Smurf: ermmm correct *link 50  
  
Smurf: Yugi what is the name off the regional champion?  
  
Yugi: weevil underwood  
  
Smurf: correct, tristan  
  
Tristan BANK the *beep money  
  
Smurf: no need for the langauge  
  
Tristan: but I *beep didn't , all I *beep said was bank the money!!!  
  
Smurf: sure you did [gives thumbs up to sound manager] what is the name of joeys sister  
  
Tristan: too easy its ernie!!!  
  
Joey: You.. [leaps over to tristan and starts pounding him]  
  
Smurf:wrong *link 0 pegasus  
  
Pegasus: despite recent rumours I am not a homose.  
  
Smurf: will you shut up and just answer the question, what element is the flame swordsman  
  
Pegaus: ooooo hes dreamy [dreams of flame swordsman]  
  
Smurf: alrighty.. Mai  
  
Mai: yes hun  
  
Smurf: what is the name of kaibas favourite card  
  
Mai: hmmm well when I was sleeping with him he said it was the blue eyes white dragon  
  
Joey: hey!!! You dirty slag..  
  
Mai: ehhh, did I say that?  
  
Smurf: ermmm, that's correct *link 50 , joey  
  
Joey: MAI MAI MAI  
  
Smurf: erm name a slapper... correct *link100, now preston  
  
Preston: can i phone a friend  
  
Smurf: this is not who wants to be a millionaire!! and anyway i havent asked the question yet  
  
Tristan: [ spits across room]  
  
Preston: [spit lands on forehead] you bastard!! [shakes fist at tristan]  
  
Smurf: i dont get it, why wasnt it beeped out. [looks at sound guy]  
  
Sound guy: [shrugs]  
  
Smurf: anyway preston who many vowels are there in the word sometimes?  
  
Preston: ermm 4?  
  
Smurf: correct link*150 bandit keith [theme tune fills the room]  
  
Smurf: what the hell are you doing  
  
Sound man: sorry, i just thought....  
  
Smurf: [sighs] your question keith is name one card needed to form the great the moth  
  
Bandit keith: thats easy dweeb its the coccoon of evolution  
  
Smurf: YOU CANT INSULT ME ON MY SHOW, I'LL HAVE YOU KILLED, err i mean correct *link200 bakura...  
  
Bakura: bank  
  
Smurf: name a fire type card  
  
Bakura: bank!!  
  
Smurf: yeah ok the money is banked now answer the question  
  
Bakura: ermmm bank?  
  
Smurf: moving on.. tea  
  
Tea: WLL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, I DONT DESERVE THIS BULLYING  
  
Joey: hey back off man just leave her  
  
Tristan: i'll *beep kill you  
  
Smurf: i'm only asking her a *beep question  
  
Producer: alright you've been warned, sort him out gaurds  
  
Smurf: but, hey!!  
  
[one quick beating later]  
  
Smurf: tea your question is how many brusies are on my face?  
  
Tea: too many?  
  
Smurf: correct *link 50 kaiba how many cards must you have in a dueling deck  
  
Kaiba: under 3 million?  
  
Smurf: technically thats correct i suppose, altthough  
  
Kaiba: [waves baseball bat]  
  
Smurf: ermmm it is correct, yup no doubt *link100 yugi,  
  
Yugi: bank  
  
Smurf: name a the magic card that eliminates all monsters on the field  
  
Yugi: thats easy its monster reborn!!  
  
Smurf: what an idiot.... tristan  
  
Tristan: *beep  
  
Smurf: ok my producer is telling me not to talk to you..  
  
Tristan: i am not *beep cursing  
  
Smurf: pegasus, if you see an unarmed man what do you do?  
  
Pegasus: oooo tee hee i dont think i can say that on live television gwaa hah  
  
Joey: [raises eyebrow]  
  
Smurf: mai what colour is the red eyes black dragon  
  
Mai: erm red?  
  
Joey: you stupid slut!!!  
  
Smurf: joey what does a feather duster do?  
  
Joey how should i know?  
  
Mai: you dunce joey...  
  
Smurf: preston....  
  
Preston: [launchs spit at tristan]  
  
Tristan: [hits him on the nose] you little *beep  
  
Smurf: preston name the tournament that was created by pegasus  
  
Preston: ermmm nokia game?  
  
Smurf: ......... bandit keith what element is the dark sorcerer, the clue is in the dark part  
  
Bandit keith: hey im not thick i know its a fire element  
  
Smurf: well that was great everyone, but the time is up, you banked 250 in that round, but know it is time to choose who is the one that is slowing you down... who is the weakest link?  
  
[da da de da]  
  
Mysterious voice: statistically tea was the weakest link from this round while kaiba was the strongest link, but will the players have noticed  
  
Smurf: tristan who did you pick?  
  
Tristan: i didnt get a pen  
  
Smurf: ...... here take this bloody pen [tosses pen at tristan]  
  
Tristan: no need for *beep cursing  
  
Smurf: tell me your votes now  
  
Kaiba: Bakura Yugi: kaiba Bakura: tea Joey: mai Mai: joey Preston: tristan Bandit keith: kaiba Tea: bakura Tristan: Preston Pegasus: pegasus  
  
Smurf: you cant self eliminate pegasus  
  
Pegasus: self eliminate? oh my no, i thought we had to write our names down, i wish to eliminate bakura.  
  
Smurf: Joey why mai?  
  
Joey: cos shes a dirty street slut  
  
Mai: you say that like its a bad thing  
  
Smurf: tristan why preston?  
  
Tristan: cos he keeps *beep spitting on me the little bitch!!  
  
Smurf: okkkkk well with 3 votes you are the weakest link bakura... goodbye  
  
Bakura: bye [waves uncontrolably]  
  
Smurf: [signals for gaurds] take em away boys  
  
Smurf: be sure to tune in again for round 2  
  
Backstage  
  
Bakura: i hope tea is the next to leave  
  
Interviewer: whys that?  
  
Bakura: i dont know!!! [pretends to fly around room] 


	2. round 2

Round 2  
  
Smurf: welcome back to the 2nd round of the weakest link, lets start with the strongest link which was kaiba.  
  
Joey: hes about as strong as a dead clown  
  
Kaiba: dont insult your mother wheeler  
  
Joey: say what?  
  
Smurf: well anyway who created the duel monsters game  
  
Pegasus: that was me!!  
  
Smurf: will you shut up  
  
Kaiba: uhhh pegasus  
  
Smurf: [sigh] *link50  
  
Smurf: now yugi your question is who won the duelist kingdom tournament  
  
Yugi: thats easy!! [chuckles] i was there it was rex raptor  
  
Smurf: sometimes it is hard to beleive how dense you are, now mai  
  
Mai: yes hun?  
  
Joey: [coughs] street slapper  
  
Mai: you say something?  
  
Preston: [spits at tristan, but misses and hits mai]  
  
Mai: you runt!!!  
  
Smurf: what is the first name of kaibas brother  
  
Mai: nope other then kaiba no other customers emerged from that family [wipes spit off cheek]  
  
Preston: tee hee sorry mai, twas an accident  
  
Mai: no discount for you so  
  
Smurf: damn it!! i want a discount.... i mean your question tristan  
  
Tristan: good *beep  
  
Smurf: less of that boyo, your question is name any trap card  
  
Tristan: trap hole?  
  
Smurf: *link 50 preston what level is the curse of dragon card?  
  
Preston: 5!!!  
  
Smurf: correct, joey name any aqua monster  
  
Joey: ermmm..  
  
Tristan: [whispers] its the flame swordsman joey  
  
Joey: THE FLAMES SWORDSMAN  
  
Smurf: wrong!!!  
  
Joey: your dead tristan!!  
  
Smurf: bandit keith how do you get a discount for mai?  
  
Bandit keith: easy!!! they are readily available from your local newsagent  
  
Smurf: hmmm intrsting *link 50  
  
Mai: that is classified information keith!!!  
  
Smurf: alright tea?  
  
Tea: of course  
  
Smurf: not feeling picked on?  
  
Tea: [looks puzzled] you feeling ok?  
  
Smurf: yeah sure whatever, where do babies come from  
  
Tea: mai!!  
  
Smurf: correct *link 100 Smurf: pegasus, why are you so gay?  
  
Pegasus: i watch far too much sailor moon!!!  
  
Smurf: ok correct *link 150 kaiba  
  
Kaiba: BANK  
  
Smurf: where can you deposit or withdraw money?  
  
Kaiba: BANK?  
  
Smurf: correct *link 50  
  
Yugi: i will get it right if i beleive in myself  
  
Smurf: will you shut up with your crap, where did my shoe go to?  
  
Yugi: its fell off over there in the corner  
  
Smurf:[looks over at tea cowering at the sight of the shoe] ok correct *link 100, tea  
  
Tea: nice shoe....  
  
Smurf: what is my e-mail address?  
  
Tea: dont hurt me shoe  
  
Smurf: ermmm no... its smurfsdabomb@hotmail.com  
  
Producer: aye you no personal ads allowed!!  
  
Smurf: ermmm sorry  
  
[duh duh de duh]  
  
Smurf: whew thank god thats over  
  
Smurf: now everyone cast your votes!!  
  
Joey: [sniffs marker] tee hee look at all the pretty colours  
  
Smurf: gimmer that [takes marker off joey]  
  
Joey: hello little leprechaun  
  
Smurf: right.... who did you vote out  
  
Tristan: preston Preston: tristan Joey: The damn leprechaun Tea: that shoe!! Pegasus: pegasus Keith: Preston: Mai: keith Yugi: Joey Kaiba: Preston  
  
Smurf: the leprechaun and the shoe are not contestants  
  
Tea: why does nobody fear the shoe  
  
Joey: its a conspiracy thats what the leprechauns want you to think!!!  
  
Smurf: ok.... pegasus you voted for yourself  
  
Pegasus: [delighted] and to think i am the only one who got their name right  
  
Smurf: [sighs] well preston with 3 votes your the weakest link, goodbye!!  
  
Preston: [launchs spit at tristan]  
  
Tristan: little *beep  
  
[backstage]  
  
Preston: i should have won i was only voted out for misuse of saliva  
  
Gaurd: come on, its time to go to the beating room.. i mean waiting room  
  
[in waiting room]  
  
Preston: i think i should have won and i hope tristan doesent win, i would hit him a box except well i cant move my hand [forces a smile] man those baseball bats hurt... 


	3. round 3

Smurf: welcome back to round 3 of the weakest link now in the last round...  
  
Joey: [flaps arms vigourously] i need nectar!!  
  
Smurf: [sighs] forget it lets just start round 3  
  
[duh du de duh]  
  
Smurf: all right pegasus...  
  
Pegasus: ok hun [licks lips]  
  
Smurf: [turns away] yugi what is your favourite card  
  
Yugi: [slams hand on table] its the ace of spades!!!  
  
Smurf: [nervous] yes well i dunno about that [looks up at producer]  
  
Producer: [raises middle finger]  
  
Smurf: ok then its right *link 50 tristan what is the name of joeys sister  
  
Tristan: thats easy!!  
  
Joey: [stops flapping] you call my sister easy you bastard [starts punching tristan]  
  
Tea: [raises hand]  
  
Smurf: what is it?  
  
Tea: didnt you already ask that question?  
  
Smurf: [alarmed] ermmm well [whispers] listen shut up about it and you will get your money  
  
Smurf: anyway bandit keith  
  
[theme tune fills room]  
  
Smurf: [irritated] who keeps doing that?? [looks at sound man]  
  
Sound man: [shrugs]  
  
Smurf: grrr... who is the pharoah of ancient egypt  
  
Keith: [looks at yugi]  
  
Yugi: [points to millenium puzzle]  
  
Keith: [smirks] its gotta be weevil underwood  
  
Smurf: [raises eyebrow]  
  
Keith: [laughs] man im just sooo smart  
  
Smurf: tea...  
  
Tea: that was uncalled for!!!  
  
Tristan: [stops pummeling joey] hey man leave her alone!!! [runs for smurf]  
  
Smurf: [sidesteps]  
  
Tristan: [misses and plummets down flight of stairs]  
  
Smurf: i dont think hes gonna be back anytime soon  
  
Bakura: [from audience] ohhhh there is super fun happy juice shooting from tristans head!!! [dances insanely]  
  
Smurf: yugi  
  
Yugi: bank!!!  
  
Smurf: there is no money to bank!!  
  
Yugi: oh ok.. bank!!!  
  
Smurf: [groans] ok fine 0 will be banked  
  
Yugi: [smuggly] im carring you lot [points to others]  
  
Joey: yeah we're sorry yugi  
  
Smurf: so yugi what card can instantly win you a duel if you hold all 5 of its parts  
  
Yugi: [remembers weevil throwing his exodia cards over the boat] weevil underwood!!!  
  
Smurf: is that everyones answer to everything!!  
  
Joey: [discards cheat sheet with weevil underwood written on it]  
  
Smurf: kaiba name your company  
  
Kaiba: [thinks] hmm  
  
Joey: [sniggers man he doesent know]  
  
Kaiba: [withdraws cellphone]  
  
Smurf: hey hey!!! no calling for help  
  
Kaiba: very well the name of my company is let me get this right or your legs will be broken  
  
Joey: i knew you owned that company  
  
Mai: woah you must have bought that highly succesful company  
  
Smurf: [scared] i'm not afraid of you  
  
Kaiba: [laughs insanely]  
  
Joey: [points to kiaba] is he all right  
  
Yugi: doesent look like it  
  
Kaiba: [flails arms madly] death to all!!!  
  
Smurf: [coughs] moving on...  
  
Kaiba: [drops lifeless on ground]  
  
Smurf: mai.. for god sake put some clothes on!!  
  
Mai: oh [winks] you noticed  
  
Pegasus: [starts to strip]  
  
Smurf: no pegasus it wont work for you  
  
Pegasus: [sobs loudly]  
  
Smurf: anywho mai what duel monster is this [holds up picture of blue eyes white dragon]  
  
Mai: ohh i never forget a customers favourite monster [looks as kaibas body is being hauled off] its the blue eyes white dragon  
  
Joey: YOU STUPID SLAG ITS THE RED EYES BLACK DRAGON  
  
Smurf: [looks at picture] ermm no its not  
  
Joey: YES IT IS!!!!  
  
Smurf: *link 50.. now pegasus  
  
Pegasus: [giggles]  
  
Smurf: how many star chips were needed in duelist kingdom?  
  
Pegasus:[giggles madly] uh huh huh huh huh!!!  
  
Smurf: [angry] your answer please?  
  
Pegaus: [continues giggling] oh well I don't usually uh huh huh  
  
Smurf: look I'm just gonna give it to ya if you stop freaking me out  
  
Pegasus: uh huh huh no promises huh huh uh  
  
Smurf: link*100 Joey  
  
Joey: bank!!  
  
Smurf: what condition is tristan currently suffering from?  
  
Joey: death  
  
Smurf: correct link*50  
  
Tristan: [weakly] I am not dead  
  
Joey: [bows head] I can still hear him now  
  
Smurf: yugi  
  
Yugi: building soceity!!!  
  
Smurf: [raises eyebrow] don't you mean.  
  
Keith: credit union?  
  
Yugi: yeah that's it credit union!!!  
  
Smurf: forget it.. yugi why is that whenever you let yami take over you you grow another foot and nobody notices?  
  
Yugi: [sniffs] I have no friends  
  
Joey: hey cheer up yogi  
  
Tea: hey his name is yigi!!!  
  
Tristan: [weakly] no its not its yagi!!!  
  
Smurf: ok you have proven your answer correct  
  
[duh du deh duh]  
  
Voice: Joey was the strongest link from that round while Bandit keith was the weakest link but have the players noticed  
  
Joey: do they think we cant hear that?  
  
Yugi: must do.  
  
Smurf: all right heres your markers and a pencil for joey..  
  
Joey: [sniffs pencil] awww...  
  
Smurf: now vote off the weakest link  
  
Tea-Keith Yugi-keith Joey-yogi Pegasus-tea Mai-joey  
  
Smurf: ok its too bad that tristan is well dead to vote and.. [looks at kiabas corpse in distressed position] ahh well  
  
Tristan: [weakly] I really need a doctor  
  
Joey: hold it I think tristan is trying to speak to me from beyond the grave!! Hes saying that he wants yogi out too!!!  
  
Smurf: well in that case its tied between keith and yogi.. I mean yugi and only kiaba is left to choose [looks at kiaba]  
  
Mai: hold on!! His middle finger is pointing up at someone!!!  
  
Smurf: [checks] yup its bandit keith, you are the weakest link goodbye!!  
  
Keith:[releases godzila like roar]  
  
[backstage]  
  
[theme tune fills room]  
  
Keith: well it was a close race for victory but in the end it just wasn't enough michael schumacher deserved his victory  
  
Interviewer: what about the quiz?  
  
Keith: I was in a quiz? 


End file.
